Cause baby I'm not alright when you go (I'm not fine)
by MC-GAR-IL
Summary: I can taste it, this blood in my mouth This knife in my lungs OR In which Alex has a hard time dealing with the fact Stevie is gone and Stevie has a hard time dealing with being away from Alex and they both have things left unsaid between them that's eating away at them.


_She had an earthquake on her mind_

 _._

 _._

 _._

Alex could tell from the bags under Stevie's eyes, the way she sat hunched over eyes vacant and tired, the way she would jump anytime someone would try to grab her attention and the flimsy excuses she would dish out when Alex would ask her why she's been MIA from school for the past few days.

Stevie was hiding something.

The first week of this she let the other girl be. She knew she hated when others would butt into her problems uninvited.

The second week she began to feel a little irritated. Stevie wasn't returning any of her texts and had bailed on their movie night without as much as a courtesy call. But still Alex let her be.

The third week her irritation turned into concern. Stevie started flashing into Alex's bedroom at god awful times of the night. That in itself wasn't totally weird. Stevie had said on numerous occasions that her bed was stiff and crappy and Alex's was pure heaven, plus her fridge was always stocked so she preferred to crash at her place. (Alex knew the real reason she stayed over so much was because she hated the emptiness of her ratty apartment and for some reason actually liked her crazy family

But she guesses some family, even if it's not your own, is better than none

After Stevie told Alex about her father who ran off on her family when she was younger, her physically there but mentally gone mother, and her "better than thou" brother Alex secretly vowed to be Stevie's new family

Not that she would admit that)

What worried Alex was the way Stevie would drape herself over Alex, and Alex could feel how Stevie had lost weight, and when Stevie thought Alex had drifted back to sleep she could feel the way her body would shudder and she could hear soft whimpers, and felt the way her shirt would get damp from tears that weren't her own. Alex could feel her heart twisting uncomfortably and her eyes stung with tears of her own but she always pushed them away. And when Stevie finally cried herself to sleep Alex would carefully take the other girl into her arms and stroke her back tenderly, vowing to talk to her about it in the morning.

But every time morning came Stevie was gone and Alex wondered if she had actually been there or if she had just dreamt everything.

The fourth week Alex finally had enough. It had been a month since Stevie started to unravel and Alex couldn't just continue to stand by and watch her turn into ragged pieces of herself. Stevie was her friend and watching that light in her eye and quirk in her lip slowly vanish killed Alex a little more on the inside each day.

It was a Thursday and Stevie hadn't showed up to school again. Alex didn't even try to call her she just ducked out of first period and flashed herself over to Stevie's place.

It was dark and the air was stale and Alex thought maybe Stevie wasn't here after all.

Right before Alex was about to cast a locater spell she heard a loud curse followed by a crash coming from the back room. She whipped out her wand and mutters _illuminate_ and swishes her wand causing a light to appear at the tip of it.

She slowly maneuvers herself to the door, which she remembers to lead to Stevie's room, and presses her ear to it but can't make out any sounds. She shifts her hair away from her left ear and chants, _some people are a gem, some people are a rat, to learn who's who, give me the ear of a bat_. Her ear transforms and she presses it against the door again. She met with the sound of sniffles and a voice repeating _'stupid'_ over and over again. Changing her ear back to normal Alex decides to barge in.

She watches as Stevie jumps back on her bed as her door bangs against the wall.

They both look at each other for a moment that stretched into an eternity before Stevie looked away and began to scrub at her tear stained cheeks. Alex's stomach churned when she noticed the way Stevie's clothes were hanging off her awkwardly like they were a size too big and her eyes resembled a raccoons with how dark the bags around them had became. Alex felt sick and her heart thudded painfully in her chest, she cursed herself for waiting this long to confront Stevie.

She quickly sweeps her eyes around the room taking in the dimness, the only light source coming from a small desk lamp, the scattered books around the floor, and a dated laptop with a blank screen on the bed with a sunken looking Stevie.

Alex marches over to the other girl throwing her weight on top of her causing them both to tumble flat onto the bed. Alex molded her body against Stevie's ran her fingers through the other girls hair and began to coo in her ear. A feeling of relief overcame Alex as Stevie crumbled in her arms, her body wracked with tears. Alex continued to hold her and Stevie gripped her like she was the only thing keeping her a float.

(She probably was

And that thought just made Alex hold onto Stevie even tighter scared that she might just slip through her fingers)

Morning slips into afternoon and they had migrated to the couch.

Alex had forced Stevie to take a shower jokingly saying she was surprised she hadn't died from the smell that was coming off her. The smallest of smiles made its way onto Stevie's face at the comment and Alex felt like she had accomplished something. As Stevie showered Alex used a spell to clean up Stevie's room, she then went about opening all the blinds in windows in the apartment letting fresh air in. When Stevie came out of the shower with damp hair and rosy cheeks Alex noted how she looked less like a zombie and more like herself although she couldn't tear her eyes away from her towel clad friend as her eyes traced the way water droplets clung to her skin. She was broken out of her trance when Stevie chuckled low and hoarse and teasingly said _'see something you like?'_ Alex's eyes snapped up from Stevie's legs to her eyes and she saw a small flicker of the light that used to be there and she couldn't help but smile as she responded ' _pshh you wish Nichols now get dressed and get your ass in the living room.'_

Alex had turned and walked out of the room with a ringing in her ear and quickly beating heart.

So now they were on the couch.

Alex had conjured up a pizza (and noted the enthusiastic way Stevie ate hers) and some random Lifetime movie was playing on the TV and Alex and Stevie were sitting side by side fingers brushing each others. They had fallen into a comfortable silence but Alex wanted to talk so she flipped the TV off and brought her knees up to her chest turning her body toward Stevie's.

Stevie knew what Alex wanted, but she just couldn't force the words from her tongue _not yet_ she thought _she was so close, she couldn't tell her just yet,_ so Stevie gave Alex's promises of soon and after some argument Alex agreed and the let the rest of the afternoon bleed into the evening with them sitting on the couch watching terribly clichéd Lifetime movies and trading lines of banter back and forth.

Around seven thirty the front door rattled and Alex felt Stevie stiffen up next to her as a woman walked in. She stopped for a moment, blinked at the two teenagers on the couch and then continued on to the kitchen rummaging around for a bit and then slinking into another room in the back.

Alex felt instant disdain wash over her as she realized that woman was Stevie's mother. She gripped a now sullen Stevie's hand and told her to stay over at her place tonight, her mom was making lasagna, and if she was lucky she could witness the tragedy that is Russo family game night.

Stevie cracked a smile and agreed and Alex intertwined their fingers and flashed them to her house.

Alex and Stevie had slinked away from the balcony where Max and Justin were still arguing about the rules of charades and her mom and dad were sending each other heated glares both intent on beating the other. When they made it to Alex's room Stevie flopped onto the bed face first groaning in satisfaction. Alex crawled on the bed and sat next to her staring at Stevie. Unable to stop herself she shifted and started to gently massage the shorter girls' back. They stayed like that for a while until Alex leaned down and pressed her forehead against Stevie. And then with a subtle tilt of her head she let her lips brush against Stevie's clothed back. Immediately feeling her cheeks begin to heat up Alex swung herself off the bed, with ringing ears and a pounding, and walked to her dresser. She pulled out two sets of pajama's and tossed a set in Stevie's direction while announcing that she was going to use the shower. Alex glanced over to the bed but Stevie hadn't moved. She shuffled her feet across the carpet and toward her bathroom but before she could touch the knob a voice stopped her.

"Alex..."

She froze and waited a beat

"Thanks for... Well you know."

Alex felt the hairs on her arms rise as a rush of emotion hit her making her head spin with how intense and sudden it was. But still a smile broke out on her face.

"Face it Nichols, you're stuck with me."

"I wonder who I pissed off in my past life to be stuck with you." Alex could hear the smile in her voice.

"Oh please I'm awesome, if anything **I'm** the victim here, I have to look out for your sorry ass. You'd be lost without me."

"Yeah, yeah I would"

Alex swallows past the sudden lump in her throat and finally opens the bathroom door without another word.

It was dark and Alex couldn't fall asleep, not just yet. She looked at the clock that sat atop her bedside table seeing the bright red 12:05 staring back at her.

She knows Stevie is still awake and that they've both been staring up at the ceiling in silence for the past 15 minutes.

"You've been absent way too much. You're coming to school tomorrow even if I have to tie you up and drag you there."

"Alex Russo caring about school is the world about to end? Quick let me look outside" Stevie jokes, Alex stays serious.

"Stevie"

The sheets shuffle a little and Alex can feel eyes on her so she turns on her side and stares back.

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" Stevie still tries to joke but Alex gives her an unimpressed look that she hopes Stevie can see and she watches as the smirk on the other girls face turns into a straight line, "Okay I'll go"

Alex nods in satisfaction and reaches her hand out to Stevie's. They loosely tangle their fingers together and continue to stare at each other.

Alex can't help but notice how pretty Stevie is. Even if she does look like she needs a month long nap.

Alex has always thought the other girl was attractive, she would even say sometimes she was downright cute, but it's never been quite as distracting as it is in this moment. She shifts closer to the other girl, close enough that they were basically breathing the same air. Alex felt her throat tighten and her stomach knot, her fingers twitched wanting to reach out and brush against Stevie's cheek but Alex clenches her fist and pushes the urge down. She has this feeling in her chest, all fluttering and achy and she's not sure why, but she feels like she's getting closer to the answer, and the closer she gets the more her heart begins to pound and alarms go off in her head.

Alex tries to focus but it's hard with the way Stevie was looking at her like she was waiting, **hoping** , for something. But in the end she just squeezes Stevie's hand and Stevie squeezes back.

"Soon right?"

"Yeah…" she watches as Stevie swallows, "Soon"

.

.

.

 _I almost heard her cry out as I left her far behind_

.

.

.

" _Are you in?"_

 _She knew Stevie thought she looked all confident and persuasive but Alex could see through her she could see what she was really feeling._

 _Desperate_

 _Hopelessness_

 _Anxiety_

 _But overall she was scared, she was scared about losing her powers, scared about losing apart of herself and not knowing what to do once it's gone, scared about feeling lost bitter and_ _ **empty**_ _._

 _Alex understood her, she_ _ **empathized**_ _with her and she told herself she wouldn't leave Stevie behind, she was her family._

 _And it was with those thoughts that Alex took at her wand and smiled at Stevie_

" _I'm in"_

 _They both brought their fists up and bumped them together._

Alex knew this was _wrong_ , she did, really.

It was obvious that Stevie wasn't thinking.

Well she was thinking, but she wasn't thinking clearly.

She was running on desperation and fear and Alex could see the way Stevie was still unraveling in front of her even though she claimed she was so close to being free. She knew that the weight on Stevie's shoulders was just too much and Alex just wanted to help her.

These are the things that ran through her head as she flicked her wand and froze Stevie in the hall of transfers.

Her stomach twists and churns uncomfortably as she stares at her now frozen friend.

"This is worse than I thought; Alex froze Stevie so she could take all the powers for herself!"

She feels Justin hold her like he was trying to restrain her and honestly she was _**not**_ in the mood for this.

"Justin!" She tries to wiggle out of his grip but he refused to let go.

"I-I get it now," Max pipes up, "Our sister is truly evil… a-and it's not just fun evil but evil, evil. Dad said if this ever happens we should run and change our names!" Max begins to run off and honestly she does not have time for this, she needs to help Stevie so she brings her foot down onto Justin's and he lets her go in favor of holding his foot and jumping around in pain.

"Guys…"

"Max get her!" Justin shouts and suddenly she's falling to the ground as Max tackles her.

"Justin, Max stop!" Harper says, "You guys don't get it, she froze Stevie so Warren could get his powers."

She sees Harper walk to the power switch button and she yells out for her to stop. Harper looks at her with wide eyes, Justin says 'a-ha! I knew it!' and Max continues to sit on top of her staring her down.

"Alex?" Harper breathes and the brunette rolls her eyes and shoves Max off her.

"That's not why I froze her you idiots" Alex swallows as she looks into everyone's expectant gaze, "I froze her because I want to help her-"

"A-ha, evil just like I thought"

"Justin let her finish" Harper chides and Alex silently thanks her.

"I want to help her get better. S-she's not thinking straight right now but I know why she's doing this and I swear her heart is in the right place she's just scared. But I don't think it right for her to get her powers taken away considering the circumstances…"

"What are you talking about Alex?" Justin prods; his face still twisted in mistrust, but before she could answer him Max voice fills the air. She turns and sees him hover near Stevie holding his hand over her arm.

"Whoa, she's so cold" he reaches his finger out to poke at her and as soon as he does Alex watches as Stevie tips forward and Alex feels her body fill with dread.

She can't even shout out in protest before Stevie's body hits the ground shattering into little pieces.

And in that moment Alex felt a piece of her crack. She dropped to her knees, her eyes misting over with tears, "Stevie?" She called out and of course there was no response. Her tears started to fall in hot waves down her face as she continued to call out Stevie's name.

"Max, what did you do?" Justin shouts and Max stutters out an apology.

"Alex" she looks up briefly to her younger brother whose eyes were shining, "I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean-" He doesn't get to finish before Alex let out a sob, broken and pained and filled with grief.

"Stevie, come on Stevie, don't do this, I'm sorry, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen" She continues to plead through her tears. She feels someone kneel next to her and put their arm on her shoulder.

"Alex" Justin soothes

Alex buried her face in her brothers' shirt her body shaking as tears continued to fall.

"J-Justin, tell me she isn't- tell me you know how to fix this. You're the smart one you must know a spell or a potion or _something_ to fix this, please!" She feels him rub his hand on her back but it doesn't help.

"I'm sorry Alex, but I don't know how to fix this."

She feels sick.

But she holds down the bile that runs up her throat and shoves Justin away. Harper swoops in to replace him and in her embrace she feels a little comfort.

"D-dad, we need dad, h-he knows stuff I'm sure he'll know what to do!" Max exclaimed through his tears.

"U-um right" Justin responds pulling out his wand, "Bring him here because we're sad, bring right here our dear old dad"

In a flash Jerry was standing in front of Justin face screwed up in confusion.

"Justin? Wha-"

"I'll explain later dad you gotta help Stevie." Justin rushed out

"Huh, what happened to- oh no…" When Justin turned his dad around Jerry's eyes widened when he saw the scattered bits of what was obviously Stevie. His eyes quickly flit over his daughter who was obviously crying, and then to Harper who looked lost as she tried to console her, and finally to Max who wouldn't look at him but was obviously crying.

After assessing the situation he knew what he had to do.

"Max" Jerry saw the way he flinched when he called his name, "Take your sister and Harper back to the house."

"What? Daddy no, I can't just leave her" Alex said, but he ignored her and continued to look at Max who swallowed hard and nodded. Max walked up to Alex and put his hand on her shoulder flashing them away.

"Alright Justin now we need a container"

When they arrived in the Russo's living room Alex was banging her fists against Max's shoulders.

"Y-you idiot, why would you- how could you- I need to go back, I have to help her, I have to-" her voice gives out in favor of tears. Max looks at Harper wet, lost, and sad, pleading with her for help.

"Alex breathe," Harper soothed "I know you're upset, but I'm sure it'll be okay. Your dad wouldn't have stayed behind is there wasn't anything he could do right? I'm sure he and Justin have everything under control." Alex sniffed but noticeably calmed down, sobs turning into hiccups.

She felt a slither of hope grow within her. Harper was probably right, dad could fix this, and Stevie would be alright. But still a sick feeling clawed at her stomach.

Night had fallen and dad and Justin hadn't come back yet.

Alex was obviously worried.

When her mom had come home she came face to face with two of her kids sitting on opposite sides of the living room with puffy cheeks and distant looks, and Harper in the kitchen mixing what turned out to be brownie batter in a bowl.

Theresa was lost, but her mom instincts told her to comfort her children, so she did.

Or at least she tried.

Max shrugged her off and went to hide out in his room.

Alex just looked at her like she was ready to cry before she too ran off to the safety of her room.

Theresa's heart hurt, she wanted to help them but they wouldn't even talk to her so she walked into the kitchen to ask Harper what was going on around here. Harper gently explained what had happened when she Alex and Justin had went to find Stevie's brother in the wizard world, Theresa felt her lips turn down in a slight frown. This had to do with magic. But despite her disapproval she continued to listen intently as Harper explained how Warren was trapped because Stevie bailed on him after the wizard competition, and how when they were coming back to confront Stevie they found her in the lair trying to start some kind of revolution. Theresa frowned again when Harper told her Alex had decided to join up with Stevie and support her 'evil' plan. Harper's voice began to trail off when she got to the part where they had got Stevie to go to the Hall of Transfers, and she completely stopped talking when she told her Alex had frozen Stevie so she wouldn't go through with her plan.

Harper had wrung her hands as she tried to avoid eye contact with Theresa, but Theresa laid an encouraging hand on Harpers shoulder so she whispered out the tail end of the story.

"Max he- he went to go touch Stevie, and then she fell. She fell and she shattered. Mrs. Russo it was terrible, Alex started sobbing and Max just kept apologizing and crying and no one knew what to do…" Theresa felt her eyes begin to water, she liked Stevie. She reminded her of Alex except she could tell she didn't have the same kind of support system as her kids did, Alex had told one night after Stevie had been at their house for three days straight, _she doesn't really have anyone else mom, her dad is gone, and her mom is almost never home, being by yourself all the time must be boring_. She noticed her haggard appearance these past couple of weeks, the dark circles, the loss of weight, the spacey behavior, she noticed how she was almost always at their house, and she noticed the way Alex wouldn't leave her side. She figured something must have happened at her home. She figured it wasn't her place to pry, and plus she looked like she was getting better by being at their house. But maybe…

Maybe she needed a parent figure to talk to her, maybe she should have…

She feels a few tears slip down her cheeks; she doesn't bother wiping them away.

They're both quiet for a while, both going through their own kind of grief, but eventually Harper coughs to get her attention.

"Justin brought Mr. Russo to where we were, he told Max to bring me and Alex back here, but he and Justin are still there. I think he can do something, or at least I hope so." Theresa nods in understanding and a slight sigh escapes her lips before they set in determination.

"Alright Harper finish up those brownies and warm up some milk I'm gonna need it."

Alex was regretting going to her room.

She kept replaying the scene over and over in her head.

Every time she thinks about what she could have done differently.

Turn a little quicker; run a little faster, tell Stevie her plan was insane from the start instead of tricking her.

Even if ( _when,_ stressed to herself) Stevie comes back how could Alex face her? What would she say? Would Stevie even want to talk to her?

Alex sighed and buried her face into a pillow. Her eyes stung and her head pounded as she continued to let her mind wander back to before things got so messed up.

 _She and Stevie were lounging on her couch trying to toss popcorn into each other's mouth. Alex closed an eye trying to line up her shot, but it bounced off of Stevie's cheek._

" _You're terrible at this buttercup" Alex nudged her foot against Stevie's leg in protest as Stevie tossed her own popcorn right into Alex's mouth smiling smugly the whole time. "That's how the pros do it"_

" _Whatever, and don't call me buttercup" Alex gets up dusting any stray popcorn kernels off her shirt and walks to the fridge, "You want another soda?"_

 _Her question is met with silence. Hiking her eyebrow up she turns toward the couch about to repeat herself when she notices that Stevie wasn't there anymore, before she could even think of where she went arms wrap around her waist and she's being lifted off the ground. Alex lets out a shriek and flails her legs. She stops all movement when she hears familiar laughter behind her, and the knot of fear in her stomach loosens and settles into a tingly kind of warmth she's come to associate with Stevie being within a three foot radius of her._

" _Hahaha, that was priceless" Stevie breathes into her ear, Alex turns in the loose embrace and stares at Stevie's smiling face. She punches the other girl in the arm and mutters 'jerk' under her breath but she can stop the smile that spreads on her face. They stand there for a while, a breath away and matching smiles lighting up their faces._

 _As soon as it started it was over and Stevie let go of Alex stuffing her hands into her pockets but her easy smile was still in place. Alex shook her head, trying to get rid of the cloud Stevie had put there and turned back toward the fridge pulling out two sodas and heading back to the couch Stevie trailing behind her._

" _Okay so what are we hate-watching next?" Alex asked while handing a soda over the Stevie._

" _I have the perfect movie; it's a Lifetime original…"_

Alex tries to ignore the tears that are creating a damp spot on her pillow and instead burrows her face further into the fluffy object trying to keep her mind blank.

For a moment she finds some peace in the silence that encompasses her room but of course the moment was broken by three knocks on her door and the sound of the knob turning.

"Alex?"

She listens as her mom gently closes the door behind her, and counts the steps it takes before her bed dips and a hand comes to rest on her forearm.

"I brought you some brownies, well one and a half brownies; Max kinda went a little overboard." Alex's fist tightens, the fabric of her sheet bunching up in her palm. "Oh sweetie, I know you're angry at him, but he feels really bad and he wants to apolo-"

"…"

"Alex I can't understand you when you talk into the pillow." Alex pulls herself up and shifts toward the middle of the bed bringing her knees up to her chest.

"I said, I'm not mad at Max mom," Alex sighs and rests her cheek onto her knee, "At first I was, but I- I know it was an accident but- I just wanted to blame it on him but it's not-" her voice cracks and her eyes mist over, "It all just happened so fast, one second she's standing there with me and the next second she-" Her body shakes as she represses a sob. Theresa wraps her arms around her daughter running a soothing hand up and down her back.

"Oh mija"

"It hurts so much mom"

"I know it does baby, and it's okay to let it out."

So for a long while Alex cried on her mom's shoulder letting out her fear sadness and anger and fully exhausting herself while her mom just held her and would occasionally coo words of comfort in her ear.

When her tears finally subsided Alex left her head on her mom's shoulder and accepted the offered brownie with a cracked 'thanks' and started to pick at the treat.

"I know you're sad right now, but it's going to be okay eventually. Plus your dad and Justin haven't come back yet so maybe they were able to help Stevie."

"You think so?"

"Of course, I mean I've seen you kids do some pretty amazing stuff with magic so I think anything is possible. But even if it's not, you have all of us here with you to rely on." Alex let out a small smile and Theresa kissed the side of her head, "Now come on I think you and Max need to hug it out. Plus Harper might be making more brownies." Her mom backs out of her room while wiggling her eyebrows and shaking her shoulders and some weird dance, and Alex couldn't help but laugh at her ridiculousness, "There's my girl, now hurry up before Max eats them all again."

.

.

.

 _I knew the world was crashing down around her_

 _._

 _._

 _._

It's been 2 months.

Alex has been doing her best to pretend she's fine and it's been working. Everyone has stopped giving her worried looks and treating her like glass.

But it's been 2 months and she hasn't seen or talked to Stevie.

After her dad told her that they had taken her to the wizard hospital Alex asked him when it'd be okay for her to visit. She watched as his face fell into a frown and she felt a wave of anger wash over when he said she couldn't. He explained that Stevie was in wizard police custody and she wasn't allowed any visitors. Alex didn't understand, and asked if they were going to put Stevie in jail or something. Her dad assured her that wasn't the case, when a wizard gets in trouble they get sent to a special island for rehabilitation. He wasn't too sure of the details of what goes on at the island but he knew Stevie wouldn't be locked away in a cell.

The first two weeks Alex was distant and angry. She wanted to know more about what was happening to Stevie but her dad was clueless and professor crumbs refused to tell her anything. So she sulked, snapped at random people at school and went straight to her room when she went home. (The only person she talked to was Harper.)

On the third week she started flashing into Stevie's room at night. She told herself it was because she wanted to make sure Stevie wasn't actually being locked up in her home.

(What she refused to admit was that she did it because it helped her feel close to Stevie. The room was just the way Alex had seen it last. Curtains drawn, books scattered around the room. Closet open with clothes and shoes spilling out and an empty take out container sitting on the desk and the desk light still on. Alex remembers teasing Stevie about her disaster of a room.

 _"Every time I come over here it's like your room gets worse. I mean how do you even find anything?"_

 _"It's an organized mess, various clothes pile over there, school books over here, actually enjoyable books piled around that bookcase, etcetera. Besides it could be worse, it could be like Max's room"_

 _Alex laughed, "The other day he came running into the living room holding a box yelling 'hey look what I found'. So he puts the box on the table and of course we all come to see what was inside. When takes off the top there's a possum in there."_

 _Stevie scoffs, "A possum, seriously, you've gotta be joking."_

" _I swear it was really a possum curled up in a box. Of course mom starts yelling in Spanish and dad is doing that one word sentence thing like, 'Max. Possum. Where. Why. Augh'" Alex scrunches her face up and flails her hands around trying to mimic her dad and Stevie throws her head back and laughs._

" _Oh man, what happened next?"_

" _Well dad is still trying to connect the dots, and mom looks Max in the eye and says he has to get rid of it and he goes 'But mom, look how cute he is, I even named him, Lenny'. So they start to argue and Justin is trying to calm dad down, and I'm laughing at them from on top of the kitchen counter when the box rattles and everyone goes silent, and then the possum pops it head up and looks at us, and we're just staring back at it. Then it jumps out and everyone loses it, mom starts cursing in Spanish, Justin hops up on the chair, dad and Max start chasing it around the room trying to get it back in the box, and I'm still laughing on the kitchen counter."_

 _Stevie is laughing so hard there are tears in her eyes, and Alex feels fluttering in her stomach and warmth settle in her chest watching the way her eyes shine in happiness._

" _See I told you my room isn't that bad."_

 _Alex rolls her eyes and flops back onto Stevie's lap, "I guess, but still it's a wreck."_

 _Stevie hums and begins to run her fingers through Alex's hair, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. But let's get back to the problem at hand. How did you guys end up catching the possum?"_

 _A smirk slips onto Alex's face, "Okay so Harper comes upstairs to see what the commotion is about, and in her hand she's carrying a purse made of possum hair…"_

Alex would feel a smile come to her face whenever she thought of things her and Stevie got up to (but her heart would pound at the things they didn't).

The fourth week she worked on being okay.

She knew it must have seen a weird to her family, seeing her so hung up on something and she really didn't need any questions about her behavior. So she put on her lazy smirk, returned to her nonchalant appearance and her normal level of snark and continued her day to day.

And it did help, she only thought about Stevie when she was drifting asleep and she would check the other side of her empty bed searching for its normal occupant. And when she would enter the school building expecting to see two people, one casually leaning against Alex's locker hands stuffed in her jeans the other with her books tightly pressed to her chest, waiting for her to show up. And when she had a particular annoying customer at the substation and Alex would roll her eyes and turn toward the counter expecting to see a shock of blond and smiling eyes already looking in her direction as Alex mimed scoffing while tilting her head backwards. But instead she only saw Max manning the register, and he would catch her eye and give her a knowing look and they would both share a smiling knowing who the other was thinking about.

The second month of Stevie's absence Alex and Max had grown closer. They both missed Stevie and they both still felt guilty about what happened. Max told her that Stevie was actually really cool, and that she was kind like her except she was actually a badass, besides she still owes him a crown and a thrown.

Alex threw her head back and laughed too amused to punch him in the shoulder for saying she wasn't badass.

So it's been 2 months since Stevie was sent away to some island and Alex's stomach still churns and her heart still stutters in her chest when she thinks about her. A mixture of guilt and longing (for what she still refuses to think about) swirls around in her. She feels helpless and she wants to scream.

She begins to plot and plan a way to get the information out o Professor Crumbs until one day she gets some wizard mail.

Still deep in thought she rips open the envelope not really paying attention to the contents or her surroundings. Max creeps up behind her and starts to silently read over her shoulder.

Just as he's about to ask who's his from the words freeze on his tongue.

"Uhh Alex?" Jumping slightly Alex turns around and raises a questioning eyebrow at her wide-eyed brother. I instead of replying he just pulls the letter out of her hand and holds it up in front of her face.

"Max, wha-" she stops. Stops talking. Stops breathing.

Her eyes quickly scanned over the letter that was written with a familiar slightly shaky print that Alex had seen plenty of times whenever she wanted t copy off a test or had to quickly copy the answers to a homework assignment that she forgot was given. Her eyes pick up on the words _'miss you'_ , _'sorry'_ , _'terrible here'_ , _'not sure what to do'_ , before they drift down to the end of the letter that was signed,

"Stevie"


End file.
